Friendship

I am a youngest child, and I know for a fact that I get away with a lot more than what my sister did as a child. For example, she used to look after me when my mom was busy, and she would have to play with me even if she didn't want to, otherwise she would get into trouble.

Nicky and I

Being the youngest, I was quite a brat, always demanding everything I wanted and arguing, and saying "But Nicky can do it!", never thinking about the fact that my sister was older, and that's why she was allowed to do things that I couldn't do- like go to the movies with her friends.

My parents made a rule at one stage that if one of us had to go somewhere, the other had to go. This to me was very unfair, because my friends always seemed to get along better with my sister, and by the end of the day when they would come and visit, they would be hanging out with my sister, and not with me- regardless of who they were visiting. It made me feel very belittled and upset, because if I wanted to hang out with my sister's friends she would never let me, but she would bully her way into my own friendships.

When I was ten I figured it was better not having friends, because my sister would just take them away anyway- so I stopped inviting people over, and I stopped going to friends. When I did go to friends I didn't go back, because I felt like they didn't like me, so every time they asked, I would say that my mom said no, even if I didn't ask her if I could go.

It was only in this year that I started making friends again and actually wanting to go to my friends and invite them over. Unfortunately this holiday I wasn't able because I was so busy.

I'm grateful for my sister, because she was always there to protect me- even if she did 'steal' my friends away, and even though sometimes I feel like I can never be as good as her, she told me that I need to start accepting myself for who I am, and if I do that, other people will too, and this proved to be true. This was when I realized I had a friend all along- my sister.

I started accepting myself now, and working towards bettering myself physically and in my personality, and I've created goals for myself. Now that I'm striving to become a better person, I'm finding it easier to make friends and figure out the type of people I want to be friends with.

People are associated with the type of people they hang out with, and although it isn't always ideal (especially for teenagers) to hang out with nerds, I prefer it. But I don't just stick to one particular group of people, instead I try and be nice to everyone I come across, keeping an open mind and accepting them for who they are and I find that people like me more than when I used to be nice to only one particular group of people.

Point is- even though it's hard to make friends, try being nice to everyone and gain your friends that way.

xo'xo
The Glitch